Current location: Pancake Bay Provincial Park
Today’s plan: Get lost anywhere between here and Sudbury
While the traffic on the Trans-Canada can be heard throughout Pancake Bay, the beautiful campsites bordering Lake Superior compensate for the minor noise pollution. For the record, the traffic is so minimal that the occasional sound of a vehicle offers a strange comfort to weary travellers.
I threw together my tent instantaneously, hung my soggy sleeping bag on make-shift clothesline made of fishing line that I found in Wawa, then headed over to the lake (exactly 19 steps away from my site).
It took a while to adjust to the temperature, but I waded out until the water wrapped it’s hands around my neck. I continued walking until I was fully submerged then let the undercurrents carry me out fast and far. Finding warmth in the waters cold embrace was easier than I thought.
I jumped, danced, spun, swayed, and reached my arms to the clouds laughing loud and crying hard in both overwhelming ecstasy and sadness, clearly drunk on fresh air and the break in the clouds that poured sunshine rather than rain. For a brief moment everything felt like it would fall into place: finding a ‘real’ job felt plausible, loving every inch of my body felt like a possibility, even the thoughts of what Jack* did to me in that cabin didn’t litter my mind. I knew the families along the shore were pointing in disgust because when I returned to solid ground, parents held their children close in an effort to protect them from the crazy woman that briefly took over my body and mind.
I returned to my campsite giddy and spent with a restless mind but still sobbing uncontrollably, clawing at my tent while searching for comfort in what is left of my belongings. I had forgotten what crying felt like.
I love this motherland. I pledge allegiance to the water, land, and air. You are a creature of the land and I hope you can find the time to clear your conscience and run wild and free. You don’t realize what you’re missing.